Perfect
by briananewcomb12
Summary: Edd is sick and tired of the constant abuse at school, and at home. (I'm not saying much more because it will give the story away.) Contains violence, drug,, alcohol, sucide, and abuse.
1. Chapter 1

"Perfect" A 4 part EENE drabble.

Part One of Five

There really isn't any pairings, but I would say there's a little **KevEdd.**

**WARNINGS**: There are some gruesome details in this drabble, and i wouldn't recommend reading if you are easily triggered, or you hate this kind of writing.

Edd couldn't take it anymore. Everything has finally taken a toll on him. The constant bullying from the jocks at school, the harassment of his two closest friends, and the absent of his parents. Edd was alone, and was mentally and physically drained. He should've been use to the bullying, right? It's happened since he was a child. Edd should be use to being pushed around, called out on, and embarrassed and humiliated. It happened daily. It shouldn't bother him, but it does.

Edd laid on his bed, recollecting all the horrible memories that haunted him everyday. He felt tears sting at the corners of his eyes, but they soon slowly fell down the side of his face. He quickly stood up, wiping his eyes and making his way to his desk. He took out a pen and a piece of paper. For a few minutes, he stared at the paper in front of him, contemplating what to write. He was always great at putting his thoughts onto paper, hence his straight A's since grade school. But why was now any different? He couldn't bring himself to write.

Edd clutched then pen in his hand, then completely lost it. He screamed at the top of his lungs and knocked everything off his desk in one swift motion. He kicked back his chair and felt tears run down his face. He stared blankly at the mess he made, and felt his heart break. Edd quickly picked up everything and placed it neatly back on his desk. He leaned down to pick up the final item laying on the floor. It was a picture of Ed, himself, and Eddy. Just goofing around and smiling. Edd remembered that day like it was yesterday.

It was nearly 7 years prior, and the trio were just having a blast. They were running around the cul-de-sac, causing trouble. Edd wasn't of course, but he was there to monitor Ed and Eddy. Edd remembered taking the photograph too. He was trying to hold it in place while the other two pushed each other.

"SAY GRAVY!" Ed yelled before Double D finally took the picture. Edd smiled and ran his finger over the now cracked frame. A spark of anger ignited in him and he threw the picture against the wall. The frail teen gasped, not realizing his strength. He didn't walk over and pick up the frame as before. Instead he stepped on it with all of his might.

"HOW DARE THEY!" He screamed at the top of his lungs. With that last motion, he realized he had the guts to start writing. Edd took his seat and removed another piece of paper and grabbed a pen. He began to write.

The next day~

Edd walked into Peach Creek High school with his head low and shoulders slumped. When he awoke that morning, he laid in bed for over an hour deciding on whether or not he should even go to class. If he didn't, the school would surely call his parents, and he couldn't have that. As if he needed to give his parents a reason to communicate with him.

Edd made his way to his locker, slowly putting in the combination. He grabbed his Sociology book and notebook and a couple pencils. He glanced at his watch. 7:43. Edd sighed, knowing in a matter of seconds, someone would appear and give him hell for something. As if on cue, someone took their place right next to Edd's locker. It was none other than Kevin Barr, star football player of Peach Creek.

"Hey Double Dweeb." He smirked and stared at Edd. Edd kept his eyes on his locker, not daring to speak or look at Kevin. Kevin grew a little angry, and moved closer to Edd. "I said, hey Double Dweeb." Edd sighed and slammed his locker shut, making Kevin and others around him jump.

"What do you want Kevin?" Edd immediately regretted saying this, and you can tell Kevin was infuriated.

"Well someones a little sassy today." He smirked and a few other jocks gathered around Edd. He knew what was coming for him. He sighed and thought to himself. 'Well it just gives me another reason to follow through with my plan.' Edd dropped his books and backpack to the ground and exchanged glances with all of them.

"Go on, hit me." He finally muttered out. Everyone looked shocked, and he could hear whispering and gasping. Some of the guys backed off, including Kevin. But not all of them. Before Edd knew it, he was on the ground gasping for air. He was kicked repeatedly in the stomach and even a few punches were thrown. A crowd gathered around the three guys pummeling Edd, but no one dared to stop them, until a few teachers came out and separated them. Edd was laying on the ground, shaking and bleeding. He heard teachers yelling and saying cops were going to get involved. One of the guys managed to yell at Edd, "THAT'S WHAT WE DO TO FAGS LIKE YOU!"

He slowly stood up on his feet and took his backpack. He looked into the crowd, and there was Ed and Eddy. Right in the front of the crowd. Ed could've easily taken those men down, but he didn't. Eddy didn't do anything either. The crowd still lingered as Edd made his way over to his former best friends. Before Edd knew it, his fist connected with Eddy's jaw. He quickly drew his hand back due to the pain.

"What the hell was that for sock head!?" Eddy held his jaw in his hands and Ed looked sad as ever.

"This is your fault. EVERYTHING is your fault." Edd began to walk away when Eddy grabbed his wrist.

"C'mon Dee, you know I didn't mean to out you like that." Edd jerked his hand away and screamed at Eddy.

"Keep your fucking filthy hands off of me!" Everyone seemed shocked at Edd's language, and he was entirely shocked himself. He stared at everyone and finally found words to say. "Everything is your fault..just remember that." With that last sentence, he took his leave. He didn't even bother to go to class, he just went straight home. The crowd soon dissipated after Edd's episode. Ed took Eddy to the nurses, the jocks went to the principals office, and Kevin just stood there. He looked over at Edd's locker and saw that the dork left his books. Without thinking twice, Kevin picked them up and carried them to class with him. 'At least it'll give me an excuse to go over there..'

After school, Kevin darted out of the building and went straight to his motorcycle. He quickly made it home and he parked his bike in his garage. Kevin took a deep breath and began walking over to Edd's house. 'Why the hell am I nervous..?' As he approached the door, he heard muffled yelling. He slowly made his way to the door and began listening.

"HOW DARE YOU GET INTO A PHYSICAL DISPUTE!" A woman yelled. 'Must be his mom and dad..'

"I-i didn't mother! You don't understand! Every single day I come home with bruises from those…those brutes! And I didn't even hit them I-"

"Stop making excuses!" A male voice yelled. 'Shit… why won't they listen to him?'

"I'm not! I only punched Eddy because he deserved it and-"

There was a smacking noise, and Kevin was shocked. He put his hand over his mouth and listened. He heard soft crying and it broke his heart. He couldn't deal with listening to this anymore. He quickly tore out a piece of paper out of Edd's notebook and wrote him a note. He left it on his doorstep, hoping he'd find it before his parents did. Kevin quickly made his way back to his house.

During the rest of the night, Kevin thought about what he had heard at Edd's house. "Fuck..that poor kid.." He sighed and put his head in his hands as he sat on the edge of his bed. "He gets enough shit at home, and I have the fucking nerve to make his life at school hell." He smiled to himself and laid back down. 'Starting tomorrow, this kid's gonna have a new friend.' With that last thought, Kevin drifted to sleep.

Edd couldn't keep himself from crying all night. His parents finally retreated back to work, which he was thankful for. He sighed and looked back at his desk, where he had written his letter. He stared at the writing, and felt more tears fall down his face. He placed the letter neatly folded on the center of his bed, along with four letters. Edd made his way to the bathroom.

He stared at himself for a few seconds in the mirror, then finally decided that it was time. He searched under the sinks cabinet for the supplies he needed. He had already planned ahead of time, so everything he needed was right in place. He had a bottle of vodka, a bottle of Vicodin - due to his fathers recent ACL surgery.. He turned on the the shower, making sure the water was at a respectable temperature. He stripped out of his clothes, but left his underwear on. He couldn't have anyone who found him seeing him so over exposed. He stepped into the shower and sank to the floor. He prayed God for forgiveness of the ultimate sin he was about to commit.

"Forgive me…" He opened the bottle of Vicodin and began shoving them into his mouth, along with a gulp of vodka. Edd cringed at the taste, and immediately began feeling sick. He felt as is if he would vomit, but he didn't dare. He continued this terrible process until he felt his eyes get heavy. He felt numb all over, and soon he saw blackness.


	2. Chapter 2

**"Perfect" Part Two of Five**

Kevin woke up the following morning with a huge smile on his face. He planned to make things different between Edd and himself. He felt that Edd needed like, a body guard and Kevin wanted to be that for him.

Kevin quickly got dressed and he even ate breakfast, which he usually skips out on. As Kevin came outside, he saw that Edd's books were still outside, untouched. He looked at his watch and he had to be at school soon, but he wanted to make sure that Edd was at least okay. He walked over, suddenly feeling very anxious. Kevin knocked on the door, but he didn't hear anything. He thought about walking away, but he decided against it. He turned the door knob, surprised that it was unlocked. He poked his head in, feeling very nervous.

"Uh, hey Double Dork?" Kevin called for him, but heard no response. "Uh, I just came to check on you and like..apologize for yesterday!" He called louder, but still no answer. He sighed, and got ready to leave when he heard the shower. "Oh well no shit he can't hear me." Kevin walked up the stairs of the dorks house to still make sure he was alright. He knocked on the door, expecting Edd to freak out, but there was no response. "Uh, Edd?" He knocked louder, and began to feel very weird for just walking into his house. But Kevin began to get a bitter taste in his mouth, and something didn't sit right with him. He made his way into Edd's room, remembering where it was from their childhood together. He looked around the room and smirked on how neat it was. His eyes glanced over at Edd's bed and he saw some papers on his bed. As Kevin got closer, he saw a piece of paper and four envelopes. "The hell..?" He looked behind him, expecting Edd to yell at him, but the shower was still running. Kevin began to think of a million excuses as to why he was in Edd's room, but he just couldn't make up one. He sighed as he picked up the piece of paper and began to read.

_To whomever is reading this, I thank you for taking the time out of your busy life to care about me, even for a few minutes. _

"What the hell?" Kevin muttered as he sat down on Edd's bed.

_I plan to keep this short and to the point. I have been emotionally bullied my entire life. I've become an emotionless robot, it seems. i can't feel anything anymore, no pain, no love, no hurt. Nothing. _

Kevin's face began to flush and his stomach twisted in knots. He was going to yell at the dork whenever he got out of the shower.

_All my life, I have tried to be the epitome of a perfect human being. I've tried to be a perfect friend, a perfect son, a perfect..lover. But nothing of the sorts was ever fully recognized as such. Needless to say, I am far from perfect it seems. At school, I was always the odd one out because of my knowledge. It made me an outcast, a loser, a target, a dork, and a dweeb. _

Kevin felt shivers down his back and he shook his head. 'Shit, i really made his life hell..'

_I am growing tired of being treated like garbage, like dirt, like I'm nothing, like shit. I'm sick and tired of it, so I have now decided to do something about it. _

Kevin could feel the color drain from his face. "No…"

_I have placed next to my letter four envelopes addressed to Ed, that lovable oaf. To Eddy, my best friend. To my parents. And to Kevin Barr. Please Deliver the letters to the appropriate people. And to end this letter I must say, yes. This is my suicide note. _

Kevin felt tears sting at the corners of his eyes, then everything hit him. Kevin quickly ran out of Edd's room and began pounding on the bathroom door.

"EDD! OPEN THE GOD DAMN DOOR! EDD!" He screamed, and began shoving into the door. He felt a jolt of adrenaline surge through him and in one swift motion, kicked the bathroom door open. He ran over to the shower and quickly turned it off.

Kevin fell to his knees at the sight before him. It was Edd, pale as ghost barely holding on to a bottle of vodka. His eyes were closed and his skin was nearly a blueish color. He felt tears fall down his face because he knew the boy in front of him was long gone. He fell back against the wall and stared at Edd crying.

"Why god dammit, why!?" He screamed as he held his knees to his chest. When he finally calmed down a little, he left the bathroom and called 911. Within minutes, an ambulance arrived along with Edd's parents. They both cried at the sight of their son being inside a black body bag. They had to identify the body, and Kevin couldn't bare to look at him. After a few minutes, the ambulance left and the cops began to question Kevin and Edd's parents. He started with Kevin, asking him why he was in the Vincent's household to begin with.

"I came to check on Double dor- Dee. Double Dee." He rubbed the back of his neck.

"Why did you come check on him?" Kevin realized what he just said.

"Well yesterday he uh..kinda got in trouble because some guys hit him. He didn't fight back, not once." He said as he glared at Edd's parents.

"Our soon would never be involved in a physical dispute, officer. I don't know where this boy got that from." Edd's dad said tightening the grip around Edd's mother.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" They all looked shocked at Kevin's language in front of adults. He was 17, he didn't care. "This kid was trying to make you guys see the living hell he was put through on a daily basis, and you never gave him the fucking time because you could care fucking less!" He was screaming and fuming by this point. He even thought about punching Edd's dad, but he knew Edd wouldn't approve. Kevin sighed and shook his head. "He was crying out for help, and no one helped him."

Kevin walked to school, not ready to give the news about Edd's demise.

Kevin arrived in his second period class halfway through it and his teacher looked worried. Kevin's eyes were red and swollen from crying. He walked with his head down and shoulders slumped. He moved toward the teachers desk and leaned close to her.

"Mrs. Smith, I need to make an announcement to the class." Mrs. Smith nodded and stood up, getting the attention of the class.

"Please give your undivided attention, class. He has..an announcement." All eyes were on Kevin, and he looked around to see a few of his friends, including Nazz, Rolf, Johnny and Nat. They all looked worried sick. Kevin felt tears roll down his face and immediately Nat stood up. He leaned into Kevin and whispered.

"What the hell is going on, man?" Kevin whispered back to Nat.

"Double Dee is..dead.." Nat froze in place, trying to process what he just heard.

"Do..you want me to tell them?" Nat spoke a little louder and Kevin nodded. Nat sighed and looked across the room at anxious faces. "Kevin has just informed me that one of our um..classmates has..passed away." A few gasps and tears filled a couple eyes. "It was Double Dee, or um, Edd Vincent." At this point, a few people lost it. Nazz was balling her eyes out, and even some of the guys had teary eyes, especially Kevin and Nat. "I'm sorry, man."

Kevin looked back over at Mrs. Smith and asked to be excused and she said yes without a second guess. Kevin headed home, not wanting to face school now after what has happened. There was no way in hell he was sleeping tonight.


	3. Chapter 3

Part Three of Five

Weeks have passed since double D had passed away, and it still feels all too real for everyone. Kevin would admit he missed going into class and seeing the raven haired teen raise his hand to answer every question. Now, it seems the rest of the class died with him. Kevin had stopped trying in school, and his grades were showing that. The bell rang for fourth period, which meant Kevin had gym. At least he would be occupied.

Kevin ran around the gym with some guys as they played basketball. For once in awhile he managed to laugh and smile, and have a good time. After they played, Kevin went to the locker room to change out of his gym clothes when he overheard some of the players talking.

"Can you guys still believe that kids dead?" Kevin's heart sank. All of a sudden, the image of Edd sitting in the shower came back into Kevin's head. He held back tears and continued getting dressed but abruptly stopped.

"Who cares, man? One less fag on this earth to deal with." A couple snickers elicited from the others and Kevin fumed.

"What the fuck did you just say, Jeff?" Kevin looked over at the guy who called Edd a fag. The guys laughed at Kevin's red face.

"What, Barr? You a fag too?" Without thinking twice, Kevin charged at him and began throwing punches at Jeff.

"Fuck…you…you..piece…of..shit!" He spoke in between punches. The coach ran into the locker rooms after hearing yelling and ripped Kevin off the other teen.

"BARR! GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! You just found yourself sitting out at Friday's game."

"What?! He fucking started it when-"

"OFFICE BARR!" He screamed. Kevin scoffed and grabbed his bag, heading out to the office.

"Kevin…this is the fourth time you've been here for fighting. This week." Principal Stanley spoke as he rubbed his forehead.

"I know.." Kevin looked down at his hands as he fiddled with the zipper on his jacket.

"Be honest with me Kevin, what's going on?"

Kevin hesitated with his answer, but finally he spoke. "It's Double Dee. Er, Edd.." Principal Stanley nodded.

"You two were friends?" Kevin shook his head.

"No, not really. I mean, I uh wanted to be. But I was too stubborn I guess."

"Okay, what made you attack all of those guys then?"

Kevin squeezed his hands into a fist until his knuckles turned white. "They called Edd a fag." Stanley nodded again and sat back in his chair.

"Look, your a good kid. And I don't want to suspend you, but you've been in countless fights. And you need to take responsibility for your actions." Kevin sighed and nodded.

"How long?"

"A week. You will not be able to attend this weeks football game." Kevin felt as if he would cry again. It was rival week, and he had to miss it because he protected Edd.

"This is bullshit, Mr. Stanley." He sighed. "Sorry..but they honestly started it when they opened their mouths. Why aren't they getting in trouble?!" Stanley stayed silent and Kevin scoffed. "Yeah fuck this." He went out of his office, making sure to slam the door behind him. It was only Monday, and he had to spend the rest of the week at home.

The week couldn't go by any slower. All Kevin found himself doing was sleeping until noon and cleaning. His dad wasn't too pissed at him because he understood his sons anger. So he just told him to make the house spotless. Kevin decided to clean his bedroom last, and it was only thursday.

He made his way up into his room and stared at it blankly for a few minutes.

"Fuck.." He mumbled as he looked at the mess on his floor. He had clothes strewn over his entire floor. He had garbage all around and just shook his head. "How do I even manage this?" He plugged his iPod into a docking station and started playing Crash by Fit for Rivals. 'Guilty pleasure…god that girl's got a slammin' voice.' He smirked and started bobbing his head to the beat of the music while he picked up his clothes.

After about an hour, Kevin seemed content with the way his room looked. He glanced over at his dresser and decided to clear it off and even dust it. 'What the hell is coming over me?' He laughed as he started to clear off everything going from trophies, to notebooks, to even candy. 'Ew..' He continued to clean until he spotted a few envelopes. They were the one's Edd had addressed to himself, Ed, Eddy and his parents. Kevin felt his heart break because he completely forgot about the letters. He ran his finger over the "K" in his name. 'Edd's handwriting was so..pretty.'

Kevin took a deep breath and sat on the edge of his bed, staring at the envelope. He slowly began to open it, careful not to rip the handwriting on the front. He took out the paper with blue ink on it and stared at it, not letting his eyes focus on the words. Kevin quickly put the paper back inside the envelope. 'I'm not ready to read this yet…' He sighed and slid it between his mattress, a safe place no one would touch. He glanced over at the other three envelopes and decided he needed to make amends with the idiots who he treated terribly in the past.

"ED! You shoot with R1 and fight with X! Not the other way around!" Eddy yelled as Ed was shot down for the 15th time. Eddy groaned as 'DEFEATED' came across the screen. "Dammit Ed!" They both snickered.

"Oh c'mon Eddy! Let's play again!" Ed shoved a handful of chips into his mouth and picked up the controller again.

"So we can die again? No thank you." Eddy smirked and sat back against the couch. 'Oh, Eddy! Just play one more game with Ed. You know it'll make him happy.' Eddy could hear Double Dee's voice in the back of his head and it gave him chills. "Alright Ed, we'll play one more."

"YAY!" They started playing their rematch again, but we're interrupted a few minutes later by knocking on Eddy's door. Eddy looked at his phone and it was 10 at night.

"Who the hell?" Eddy stood up and opened the door. "Shovel chin?"

Kevin awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck and smirked. "Yeah, hey."

"The hell do you want?" Eddy gritted his teeth.

"Shut the fuck up, dude. I didn't even want to come here."

"Alright, see ya!" Eddy tried to close the door, but Kevin stopped it with his hand.

"Wait! Eddy, I gotta talk to you dude. It's about…uh..Double Dee." Eddy froze in place and stared at Kevin.

"Why the fuck do you wanna talk to me about my best friend? Get the fuck out of here, shovel chin." Eddy slammed the door in Kevin's face, making Kevin fume. He pounded on the door until Eddy opened back up. "WHAT?!"

Kevin shoved the envelope in Eddy's chest. "What the hell is this?"

"It's from Double Dee.." The color drained from Eddy's face.

"This some kind of joke, man? The fuck is wrong with you!" Eddy shoved Kevin back, making him topple over. Kevin quickly jumped up, making the other two envelopes fall out of his back pocket. Eddy ran over to them and examined the handwriting. There was no doubt in his mind this was Edd's handwriting. "How'd…how did you get these?" Eddy's voice was soft and Kevin actually found himself frowning.

"Let me in and I'll fucking tell you." Eddy walked over to Kevin, offering him a hand to help him up.

And that was all it took. Kevin went inside and explained to Ed and Eddy that he took Edd's books over to him. He told them about the fight between Edd's parents and him, and also the smack.

"Fuck.. I never realized how bad he had it…" Eddy wiped tears from his eyes. Ed was balling like a little child, and it killed Kevin seeing the two like that.

"Neither did I, man." Kevin spoke and swallowed a lump in his throat. "I gave him so much shit, and I can't even think of a good enough reason to why I did it. I feel absolutely terrible that I had a part in his…" Kevin got himself choked up and he had to look away.

"Why do you think you had something to do with it Kevin?" Ed spoke softly.

"Are you kidding me!?" He snapped, making Ed jump. "C'mon man, I treated him like shit. And he mentioned bullying and being called dork and dweeb in his suicide note. That's….that shit is all on me." Kevin wiped a few stray tears from his face.

Eddy stared at the letter in his hand, not wanting to read it. But he knew he had to.

_"Dearest Eddy, _

_What you did to me, and what you made Ed do, was absolutely unforgivable. I feel no need to express my thoughts further into this, as you know what you did was wrong. How dare you take advantage of my knowledge of weakness throughout all of these years. How foolish of me to go along with it! Even though I regret ever being your friend in the first place, I do not regret a single moment. You have been there for me as a friend, and a mentor in your own way, and I have been very thankful for that. I know that I am no longer here, and know that I am truly sorry for putting you through this pain. Stay strong throughout your life, and don't get into too much trouble. _

_Sincerely,_

_Eddward."_

By the time Eddy finished reading his letter out loud, he was in tears. He knew he had something to do with Edd's demise, even though he didn't state it in the letter. Curiosity got the best of Kevin.

"What the hell did you do to him, Eddy?" Eddy stuttered and put his head down in shame. "Fucking tell me, dude!"

"I was the one who told everyone Dee was gay, alright?!" Kevin felt his face flush and anger built inside of him. "Ed caught him kissing some guy numerous times at the park. And we just made a plan to get some money out of-"

"WOAH, you tried to make money of your best friends love life? The fuck is wrong with you!?" Kevin stood up, utterly disgusted at what he was hearing. But he thought to himself, 'Edd was actually gay..?'

"You two were the reasons he was constantly being pushed around for being gay!" Kevin started to yell louder. Eddy stood up, not nearly as tall as Kevin, but he got right in Kevin's face.

"Like you didn't push him around for being a fag, shovel chin!" Kevin didn't want to do something he regretted so he headed out of Eddy's house.

"For the record dick, I had no idea he was gay. And another thing!" Kevin hadn't realize what he was saying until it was too late. "I liked him!" Kevin's face flushed and he took off to his house, leaving the letter for Ed at Eddy's house. He still had Edd's parents letter to deliver. He knew his parents weren't home, so he just slid it into the mailbox, and headed back home.

He walked inside and headed straight to his bedroom. Kevin slammed the door and threw his jacket across the room. He threw off his shoes and fell back on his bed, tears stinging his cheeks. He couldn't help but cry. Kevin knew for a fact he had a lot to do with Edd's suicide. He couldn't believe how heartless and carefree he had been toward Edd's feelings. Kevin felt as if he was the only one this distraught over Edd. He knew he wasn't, but that thought was just in his head.

Once he calmed down, Kevin reached his hand between his mattress, pulling out the letter from Edd. He held it in his hands and sighed, putting it back where it was before. He still wasn't ready to read it, and he didn't know if he'd ever be. Kevin sat up and looked at his window, and a light went off in his head. Quietly, Kevin got dressed again, grabbed a small flashlight, and he walked down his stairs being careful not to make any sound. He quickly made it over to Edd's front door and turned the handle. Of course, it was locked. 'Shit..' Kevin groaned a little and looked over to his right. 'Edd's window…It must be unlocked.'

Kevin climbed up the tree next to Edd's window and leaned closer to the window. Using all his strength, he popped the screen out of the window and slid the window up easily. He took the flashlight and shined it inside, it still looked the same as before. His parents haven't bothered to box any of his things up. Kevin carefully placed one foot on the window sill and pulled himself through the window, quietly stepping off of it. He moved quickly around Edd's room, looking at everything. He smiled when he saw Edd's cactus, Jim. 'That dork always talked about that thing with the Ed's..' He smiled, remembering a conversation he had overheard once before.

_"Eddy! It's perfectly normal to have a plant with a name!" Edd pleaded, crossing his arms._

_"Yeah, but your plant is a cactus. Named Jim." Ed and Eddy snickered, making Edd smirk a little. _

_"There's still nothing wrong with it!" He chased after the other two Ed's. _

Kevin smiled and shook his head, putting the small cactus back down. Kevin glanced around Edd's room for anything he could find. He came to Edd's dresser, debating to go through it or not. Kevin made his decision and opened the drawer and he searched through it. For anything that he could have a memory of Edd. And EUREKA. He found Edd's trademark beanie. He smiled and shoved the hat into his back pocket. Quickly, Kevin got out of Edd's room, making sure to put the screen back into place after he closed the window. He made his way down the tree and ran to his house, hoping he was undetected.

When Kevin made it up to his room, he quickly took off his shoes and jacket and removed the beanie from his back pocket. He collapsed onto his bed and held Edd's hat in his hands. The most memorable thing about Double Dee, and he held it in his hands. He pressed the hat against his chest and fell asleep with tears falling from his emerald eyes.


	4. Chapter 4

**Part Four of Five**

There was mist around Kevin. He opened his eyes and he couldn't figure out where the hell he was. He was laying in damp grass and was covered head to toe in mud.

"The hell..?" He stood up, trying to wipe off whatever mud he could get off of him. He sighed and looked around him. There was nothing but grass and trees surrounding him. He began walking straight a head into the forest, feeling as if he was practically being pulled that way. He followed a path straight through the thick of trees until he found a clearing. Kevin kept a steady pace and made his way though the open gap. He found himself in what seemed like the same spot as before.

"Did i just walk in a complete circle?" He looked around him and saw nothing, until he looked to his right. He saw a gray stone sticking out of the ground, and he was positive it wasn't there a second ago. "The hell is going on.." He walked slowly to the stone and kneeled down to get a better look at what was carved into it.

_Eddward M. Vincent_

_October 5th, 1993 -May 16th 2012; Loving son and friend._

Kevin ran his hand over the slab of stone, feeling tears form, but none fell. He immediately regretted not attending Edd's funeral. They said it was an open casket, and there was no way in hell he could see Edd like that again. He sighed and stood up, looking around him. Kevin was still confused as to where he was, and how he got here. He was deep in thought about where to even walk to, he almost didn't hear the faint whisper of his name.

_"Kevin.."_ The whisper was louder. Kevin whipped his head around and nearly fainted.

"D-double Dee..?" The color drained from Kevin's face as he stood a few feet apart from the dead teen.

_"Hello, Kevin." _Edd gave a small smile, revealing the gap between his teeth. Kevin knew he was staring into the eyes of the departed soul, but couldn't get himself to believe it.

"Is this fucking real right now?" Kevin started to feel dizzy and sat down on the grass.

_"Language Kevin. And it is somewhat real. This is a dream." _Kevin looked up at Edd, just as confused as ever.

"You can come into my dreams?" Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, still very confused.

_"Yes, when someone is thinking about me in their subconscious, I can appear in their dreams if they wish." _Kevin flushed, feeling slightly embarrassed that Edd knew he was thinking about him.

"So, this isn't real?" Edd shrugged, walking around the grave stone.

_"Only if you don't want it to be. I can disappear just as quickly as I appeared, Kevin." _ Edd lingered over the stone, debating on whether or not he should sit.

"Just sit, dork." Kevin realized what he just said. "Oh shit.. I'm sorry Edd.." He shook his head and looked away. Edd smirked.

_"Kevin, I will not sit on a gravestone. It's disrespectful and very..filthy." _Kevin smiled.

"Jeez, even in the after life, you're still sassy as hell." They both laughed a little and Edd looked at the ground.

_"I want you to read my letter, only when you are ready to hear what I have to say, Kevin. Until then, au revoir." _ And with that last sentence, Edd disappeared. Kevin ran over to the stone and sighed. He wanted to hug Edd, apologize for always making him feel like shit. But Kevin knew it was too late. It was too late…

Kevin jumped out of bed, panting and gasping for air. He looked down at his hands and saw that he was still clutching Edd's hat in his hands. 'I fell asleep with his hat…?' Kevin slightly smiled, but got the chills when he remembered his dream. He glanced over at his clock, and it was still pretty early. There was no way in hell he could fall back asleep, due to the dream he just had.

Kevin sighed and grabbed his phone, pulling up Nat's number and texting him.

**To Greenie: Hey man do you think you could come over today? I need to talk to you. **

_To Kevin: Yeah man of course. Be there soon. _

**To Greenie: Be there soon? Did you not go to school or something?**

_To Kevin: Nope, not going to play tonight either. I'll talk once I get there. Gimmie a few._

Kevin tossed his phone on his bed and shook his head. "Nat you idiot, wonder what you did." He smirked and headed downstairs. A few minutes went by before there was a knock at the door.

"Nat, I told you you can just walk in!" He smirked as the door opened.

"Hey, shithead." Nat grinned and closed Kevin's door. He took a seat on the couch and propped his feet up on the coffee table, like he normally does. "What's up, man?"

Kevin took the seat to the left of him and sighed. "I had a dream about Double Dee." Nat locked eyes with Kevin and let out a deep sigh.

"Shit, seriously? What happened in it?" Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, feeling his stomach twist in knots.

"That's uh.. what I actually wanted to talk to you about. I actually had a conversation with him, man." Nat's eyes widened.

"You're shittin' me." Kevin shook his head and continued talking.

"Yeah, like when I found him and everything? He had four letters set out for Ed, Eddy, his parents and me." Nat shook his head, finding this all hard to believe. "He told me in my dream to read it when I was ready, man. Like, I don't know how to take that shit." Kevin put his head in his hands and sighed.

Nat was speechless and all he found himself doing was putting his arm around Kevin's shoulder. "Look man, I have no idea what to say to that. You haven't read the letter have you?"

"No! I mean, I'm kind of scared to." He sighed and stood up. "Like, man. I feel terrible for everything. It's been nearly over a month and I can't get over this!"

Nat stood up to comfort his best friend. "Dude, I don't expect you to get over his death so quickly, but I'm curious about something." Kevin looked at Nat with questioning eyes. "Did you like Double Dee?"

"Like him how..?" Nat grinned wide and Kevin flushed. "Not like that shithead! I'm not gay!" Nat sighed and rubbed Kevin's back.

"Dude, don't lie to yourself, alright? You don't have to tell me, but just I don't know…stay true to yourself or something." Nat grinned.

"What, are you some kind of philosopher now?" They both laughed and Kevin walked into the kitchen to get breakfast. "You never told me why you aren't in school, man." Nat sighed and followed Kevin.

"I uh..well. I got into a fight." Kevin choked on the water he was drinking.

"You? In a fight? With who!?" Nat chuckled and leaned against the kitchen wall.

"I heard some guys talking about you, and you know me. Gotta have my best friends back!" Nat wrapped his arm around Kevin's shoulder, making Kevin shrug him off.

"Nat, man. You don't have to protect me. I'm pretty sure I can take care of myself." Nat sighed and dropped his arms. Kevin didn't mean to be that harsh, but he couldn't help it.

"Alright, well..I kind of don't know what to say, man." Kevin looked down at the sink and turned toward Nat.

"Do you think I should open the letter?" Nat opened his mouth to speak, but quickly retreated. "What? Tell me!"

"I…I think you should take Double Dee's advice. Open it when you're ready." Kevin sighed and smiled.

"Thanks Nat, honestly." Nat grinned and walked over to Kevin, patting his back.

"It's what I'm here for!" They both laughed and Kevin began to cook them breakfast.

It was nearly 8 at night, and Kevin was blankly staring at the letter, like he did every night. He couldn't muster up the courage to open it and read it. He clutched it in his hands, then threw it as far as the envelope would go.

"Why can't I fucking do this?!" He yelled into his hands. He groaned and looked over to where the envelope landed. Kevin sighed and stood up to walk over to the letter. He sat on the edge of his bed and decided enough was enough.

Kevin slowly opened back up the letter and slowly took out the paper. He unfolded it and stared at the blue handwriting. He traced his finger along the smooth writing and felt knots in his stomach. Another deep breath was taken and Kevin began to read.

_Dear Kevin, _

_I am very sure by now you've finally decided to read this. I knew it would take you some time before you could be comfortable with this letter. I won't bore you with my ranting like usual, so here it goes. _

_I've been watching you from afar, longing for the day we could get past all the childish foolery and possibly become friends. I had hoped for that day for as long as I could remember. And because of my involvement with Ed and Eddy, I knew it was never possible. If we were able to become friends, it would've made my life a little less hectic. But we all know miracles don't happen. But God, do I wish they did. _

_My entire life, I have been tormented by you, and I didn't let it get to me until high school. Everyday it was the same routine. "Hey dork, hey double dweeb, nice outfit dork, etc." You knew it hurt me, yet you kept up with it. But, I don't resent you for it. Yet, I forgive you for what you have put me through. It isn't polite to hold grudges in the after life. _

_Kevin, I'm just not happy with my life anymore. I'm not content, I'm not comfortable. I'm just disgusted, depressed, and completely done with everything and everyone. I refuse to be the laughing stock of the school and be a target for everyone, including you. So this is why I'm taking my life, but by the time you read this, I will be gone. But I promise we will meet again when you are ready to see me. When you think of me, I will be there in spirit. Thank you for making me realize where I belong, and no I do not mean that sarcastically. I don't belong on this planet anywhere. _

_Stay in school and keep your grades up. _

_Sincerely Eddward_

By the time Kevin finished the letter, he was in tears. "I… I can't believe I pushed him over the edge…" Kevin tossed the letter to the side and put his head in his hands. He began to cry more and more. He was utterly disgusted and pissed at himself. "How could I do this to someone?!" He sighed and looked at his door. He needed a drink, and dammit he was going to get one. Kevin jumped up from his bed and walked downstairs to his fathers liquor cabinet.

Still with teary eyes and a stained face, he frantically searched through the cabinet. He found a bottle of vodka, but that would never do. Whiskey wasn't strong enough either. Then he found a bottle of Bulleit Bourbon. Kevin smirked and snatched the bottle then walked back up to his room. He didn't want to remember tonight, and he wasn't going to. By the time he finished half of the bottle, he was stumbling everywhere. He couldn't think straight, and that's exactly what he wanted.

Kevin's eyes opened slowly because of the bright lights in front of him. He put his hand in front of his face until his eyes finally adjusted. The light began to fade away and he realized he wasn't in his bedroom. He was standing in the middle of a large field. There was bright green all around him for miles and the sky was bright blue without a cloud in it. He smirked to himself and looked around him. Off in the distance, he saw a figure. As he let his eyes focus, he smiled wide. As the figure approached, Kevin's smile grew bigger.

"Edd.." He spoke softly. Edd smiled and gave a half way. looking slightly upset. "What's the matter?" He looked at his feet and bit his lip. "Geez, even in the afterlife, you're still shy." Kevin joked, making Edd sigh.

"You know you really shouldn't be drinking." Kevin cocked his head.

"You..you knew that I was drinking?" Edd nodded.

"And I also saw that you read my letter." Kevin silenced himself and clenched his jaw. "Would you like to talk about it?" Kevin looked up at the sky and nodded slowly.

"Dee.. I don't even know where to begin to say I'm sorry. I was a real dick and I..I can't even believe that you're gone because of me. And I wish I could take it all back and I wish I would've gotten closer to you because you're a pretty amazing guy and-" Edd shushed Kevin and put his finger to Kevin's lip. Kevin felt his face flush and he quickly looked away.

"Kevin, I told you. I don't resent you. This wasn't your fault. Everything hasn't quite worked out for me, so I gave up." Edd rubbed the back of his arm.

"You're not someone to give up so easily, Dee." Kevin sat on the field, and Edd was soon to follow.

"Easily? It's been years and years of torment and neglect Kevin. I've had to raise myself because my parents were absent 99% of my childhood. They never saw me go into kindergarten or watch me graduate from the sixth grade. They were never there for all of my spelling bee's and scholastic decathlons." Edd sighed, finally taking a much needed breath. Kevin shook his head, feeling immediate remorse.

"I'm sorry Edd. I wish I could make it right.." Edd scoffed.

"If i were still in school, nothing would've changed. You damn well know that." Kevin raised his eyebrows at Edd's sudden cursing.

"Edd, I honestly wanted to be closer to you and be your friend." Kevin awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"You're only saying that because I'm dead." Edd nonchalantly said, laying on the grass.

"The hell Edd?! That's not why I'm saying that!"

"Then please, Kevin! Enlighten me!" Edd replied, with a little sass in his voice. Kevin struggled to find the words to say. He opened his mouth to speak, but quickly retreated. "Go on. I know you want to say something."

"I.. I think I-I…" Kevin's face flushed and he looked away from head and mumbled under his breath. "iloveyou"

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Kevin clenched his fists and locked eyes with Edd.

"I love you, okay!?" Kevin and Edd both fell silent, due to Kevin's outburst. A few seconds later, Edd starting giggling. "What's so funny..?" Edd had to cover his mouth to stifle his giggling.

"I've been waiting for you to come to that realization, Kevin."

"What..? You have?" Edd nodded slowly and smiled at Kevin. Kevin found himself smiling back. They stared at each other for a few minutes and Kevin broke the silence.

"So, are you like a ghost or something?" Edd smiled.

"I'm a figment of your imagination right now Kevin. Whenever you think of me, I appear in your dreams. So technically, I am not." Kevin slowly moved his hand secretly to cover Edd's hand with his own.

"Can..can you feel that?" They both looked at their hands. "Because I feel something warm."

"I do too, Kevin."

Cyan eyes met emerald eyes once more and Kevin was finally content with himself. He felt as if he was on cloud nine.

With a sudden jolt of energy, Kevin jumped out of bed. His head was pounding and he had a serious hangover. He looked frantically around his room for any sign of Edd, but all there was, was just an empty space. He sighed and fell back on his bed. He had another wonderful dream, involving Edd. Kevin had confessed his love to Edd, through a dream! He still couldn't believe what he had experienced. All he knew is that he had to tell Nat, and that's exactly what he did. Kevin grabbed his phone and texted Nat right on the spot.

12:13 pm _[hey, man i gotta tell u something]_

12:15 pm **[What's up ginger? Haha]**

12:16 pm _[shutup this is serious man i had another dream]_

12:19 pm **[About double d?]**

12:19 pm [_yea]_

12:23 pm [**…Idk what to say to that Kev.]**

12:24 pm _[im freaking out nat. in my dream i like told him something]_

12:27 pm **[And that would be what?]**

12:28 pm _[that i loved him]_

12:47 pm **[nat the hell text me back!]**

12:55 pm **[I knew you were gay. But that's beside the point. You're kind of making yourself crazy Kev. Give it a rest, he's gone and not coming back. I'd hate to be the one to say it, but you need to get over him. It's been nearly 3 months. And you weren't even close to him, dude.]**

1:05 pm [_FUCK YOU]_

Kevin threw his phone across the room and it hit the wall. He knew he cracked the screen but he couldn't give a damn about it. Out of frustration, Kevin stood up and punched his wall, bruising the knuckles and making them bleed. "Fuck!" He yelled loudly. He walked to the bathroom and quickly turned on the sink to wash his hand. He slowly ran his hand over warm water. The water and soap stung, but he didn't care. He was in pain, and he slightly enjoyed it.

After Kevin wrapped up his hand, he found himself staring at himself in the mirror. He kept his eyes focused on his face. He started to develop a slight 5 o'clock shadow, due to being suspended. He had bags under his eyes, he was dirty and all around exhausted. He literally looked like shit, to say the least. He sighed once more before finally retreating to his room to pick up where he left off last night with that Bourbon.


	5. Chapter 5

**{I have decided at the last minute to add a sixth part to this. There are some serious feels in this part. Please do not read if you think this is too triggering.]**

**Part Five of Six**

Kevin kept with his routine of blacking out and dreaming of Edd for the next few weeks. He'd wake up hungover and occasionally he'd attend school. He'd gotten so use to the routine, he shut himself off completely from everyone and everything. The only thing that mattered to Kevin was that he got to spend time with Edd.

Kevin felt closer to Edd more than he ever has. But it only lasted a few hours, then he had to wake up and face reality. Kevin had managed to avoid his friends and his teammates, but due to his absences, he was dismissed from the football team.

None of that mattered to him because all he wanted to do was see Edd. He'd collapse in bed around 10, drunker than ever, holding Edd's beanie against his chest. But this night would be different for Kevin. He had a surprise for Edd and he couldn't wait for his eyes to close.

Simply stating, Nat missed his best friend. Kevin had been ignoring his calls and texts for weeks. Nat felt like a complete…douche for what he said to Kevin, but who else would've been honest with him? Nat wanted to talk to Kevin about his dreams and try to understand what they meant. It would take some time to understand, but that's what best friends do for one another.

Nat picked up his phone dialed Kevin's number repeatedly until he answered. "What do you want?" Nat was finally relieved to hear his best friends voice on the other end.

"Kev, I wanted to apologize the day I texted you, but you've been ignoring me ever since and I had no chance to-"

"You know what? I-I d-don't need th-this!" Kevin slurred. Nat shook his head.

"Are you drunk?"

"Like a skunk." Nat could feel Kevin smiling on the other end and Nat rolled his eyes.

"Well, I'll let your drunk ass go, just answer me this one question."

"What?" Nat took a deep breath and sighed heavily.

"How do you dream about Dee? Like, what causes you to dream about him?" There was silence for a few seconds, and Nat feared he struck a nerve. "Kev?"

"I just think about him. I'm usually walking around with him in a field, but I wanted to take him to the ocean tonight."

"I see… Well get some rest. I'll talk to you later."

"See ya." Nat hung up first and shook his head while laying back on his bed.

"Kev, what have you gotten yourself into?" He spoke quietly and turned off the light. "Think of Dee, huh? Alright lets give it a try."

'He always dressed so dorky, but so fancy. In a cute way. So shy… And that gap. Hah, that gap was pretty cute. And that beanie, he wore it everywhere. I have to admit, he was pretty cute…'

"I still can't believe you've never been to the ocean before." Kevin smirked as him and Edd walked along the shoreline hand in hand.

"Well, due to the absence of family, I never had the chance to go." Edd moved closer to the water to let the water was over his feet. "It's beautiful. Thank you Kevin."

Kevin stood behind Edd and wrapped his arms around the smaller boys waist. "You're welcome." They both smiled and Edd covered Kevin's hands with his own. Kevin's nerves immediately kicked in. He stiffened at Edd's touch, still in shock that he could feel warmth.

"Uh..Edd?" He quietly spoke.

"Yes?" Edd replied just as quietly as he turned around to face Kevin. They were close enough together that their bodies were touching. Kevin couldn't contain the growing excitement that he felt.

"I want..to kiss you." Edd smiled revealing the gap between his teeth.

"Then do it, Kevin." He didn't think twice or hesitate. He closed the space between both of them and gently pressed his lips against Edd's.

Kevin felt an electric surge through his body. Kevin knew deep down that this was wrong, but damn did it feel right to him. He pressed his lips harder against Edd's and Edd returned the favor, mimicking Kevin's actions with his tongue.

Before he knew it, Kevin had Edd on the ground with both of their shirts off and their legs tangled in each others. Kevin was in the middle of working off Edd's pants when something startled him.

"Kevin! Stop!" Keving looked up and saw teal hair running straight toward him and Edd.

"Nat?"

A cold sensation rushed over Nat's body and his eyes shot open. As his eyes adjusted to the bright lights, he couldn't believe what he saw before him. Nat was literally laying in sand on a beach.

"Holy…shit…" He slowly stood up and examined his surroundings. There was water and sand for miles around. To his left, he saw two figures walking toward his direction. Nat immediately ran behind him to a sand dune, falling flat on his stomach so he was completely invisible. As expected, it was Kevin and Edd walking hand in hand. Nat was utterly speechless and shocked. He heard them talking, but he couldn't pick up what they were saying. After a few minutes, he watched Kevin kiss Edd.

"OH! Shit!" He whispered. Kevin had his hands all over Edd and Nat shook his head. "The hell man.." Then Kevin started taking off his clothes and Nat knew he had to stop this now. He jumped up from the dune and started running toward Kevin and Edd.

"Kevin! Stop!" He raced over to his friend.

"Nat?" Kevin put his shirt back on along with Edd. "What..How…you're in my dream!"

"I thought about Dee like you said. By the way, hey double cutie." He smirked but immediately dropped the smirk as he glared at Kevin.

"Hello Nathan.."

"Anyway, Kev. You gotta stop doing this to yourself, man."

"W-what do you mean?" Nat exchanged glances between the two of them and finally snapped.

"This! This whole..alternate reality with Edd! You're making yourself miserable Kev, and I'm watching you throw away your life because you'd rather be in dreamland. You need to wake the hell up and come back to reality!"

"No. No, I don't." Kevin snapped back. "I'm finally happy! And i'll be dammed if you try to take that from me!" Kevin was in Nat's face at this point as they both screamed at each other.

"But this isn't REAL Kevin! This is all FAKE! It's all an ILLUSION!" He shook Kevin by the shoulders. "Let him go! And **_you_**." He pointed at Edd, making the small boy flush. "You are being incredibly selfish. You tell Kevin he has to move on, yet here you are! Stringing him along this bullshit illusion!" Kevin had enough.

"Fuck off Nat!" He shoved Nat back, making him fall on his back.

"You're serious right now? You're choosing a dead guy you pushed around for years, rather than your BEST FRIEND who you know is right?!" Kevin sighed and glanced back at Edd, who had completely vanished into thin air.

"Edd? Dee?! EDD?!" Kevin yelled, but no response was given. He turned back to Nat and locked eyes with his friend.

"You..you son of a bitch!" He yelled as he tackled Nat back to the ground with full force, making Nat make an umph noise as he fell. Kevin began to repeatedly throw punches into Nat's stomach. Nat tried to yell out or even move, but he couldn't.

'Of course, it's his dream, I can't move.'

When Kevin eased up, Nat began to slowly disappear. "Just wait till you're awake Barr!" He yelled. "You can't hide then!"

Kevin threw one last punch, but his fist hit air and sand. He frantically stood up and searched around for Edd, and then he found him kneeling in the sand as the waves come over his legs. Kevin ran over to him and kneeled in front of Edd.

"Edd?" Kevin shook his shoulders. "Dee!" Edd slowly locked eyes with Kevin.

"Nathan was right, you know that Kevin." Kevin started to shake his head and laugh nervously.

"No, no, no! I don't give a shit what Nat says to me! I finally get to spend time with you and I won't let anyone take that from me!" Kevin laced his fingers with Edd's, causing Edd to look down. Suddenly, Kevin no longer felt warmth, he felt ice. Edd sighed and removed his fingers from Kevin's grip.

"Kevin.. you had 18 years to spend time with me. Yet, you chose to be… a brute. A savage! You tormented me without mercy for years!" Edd was practically yelling, causing Kevin to shrink back.

"Edd… I told you I'm sorry!" Edd shook his head. "Edd.." Kevin stood up to be eye level with Edd.

"Let..let me go Kevin." Kevin couldn't stop the tears from falling down his face. Edd managed to stay apathetic with a blank, neutral look on his face.

"Edd.. look at me." Kevin spoke softly, his voice cracking. But he immediately rose his voice when Edd didn't comply. "LOOK AT ME!" Edd slowly turned his head letting out a deep breath.

"Edd.. I love you..I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. But I know I do. God dammit I know I do! I know how I feel in my heart, so shouldn't that count for something? Anything!?" Edd sighed and backed away from Kevin slightly.

"If you love me, you'll let me go" Tears fell down Kevin's cheek and Edd began to vanish.

"NO!" Kevin lunged forward to stop Edd, but it was too late. He fell to the ground, hard. Edd was gone; he left Kevin to wallow in his self pity. Kevin broke down in tears screaming. He finally looked up from the sand to see the scenery around him fade to black.

"NO!" He screamed as he shot up in his bed. He glanced around to see the sun peeking through his blinds. Kevin picked up his phone to see 17 missed calls and 32 messages from numerous people, including Nazz, Rolf, and a few of his teammates. He only had one message from Nat, and it read _'We need to talk.' _

Kevin sighed and stood up from his bed. It was around 3 in the afternoon, and Kevin felt like complete shit. He walked downstairs to start his daily routine. As he made his way to the liquor cabinet, he was abruptly pulled backwards onto the floor.

"D-dad?" Kevin blinked a few times before his dad slapped him across his face. "What the fuck?!" Kevin yelled as he tried to stand up, only to stumble backwards against the cabinets.

"What's wrong with you, boy?! Stealin' my booze?!" His dad picked him up by the arms and drug him to the couch, throwing him down. "Now don't get me wrong, I understand you lost a classmate. So maybe drinking a bottle, I'd let that slide. But after 7? You think I wouldn't notice that?!"

His dad slapped him once more, causing Kevin to hold his jaw in pain. "You..don't understand.." Kevin mumbled.

"Understand what? That my 18 year old son is turning into a borderline crazy alcoholic!? Over some kid you never liked?! EXPLAIN THAT TO ME BOY! MAKE ME UNDERSTAND!" His dad was in Kevin's face screaming. Kevin only chuckled and locked eyes with his father.

"Crazy alcoholic? Like father, like son I suppose." His dad gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. It took everything not to sock his own kid in the mouth.

"It's time for an intervention boy. Give me your phone." Kevin's smile faded immediately.

"What? Why?"

"Give me your phone, Kev."

"Why-"

"GIVE ME YOUR GOD DAMN PHONE!" Kevin tossed his phone on the coffee table and his dad grabbed it, then disappeared into the kitchen for over 10 minutes. When he reappeared, Kevin stood up.

"Go upstairs." Kevin was about to protest, but his father began to push him up to his room. Kevin made sure to slam his door as he made it into his room.

He paced around, kicking things and internally screaming. He sat on the edge of his bed, putting his head in his hands. Looking at the clock, he sighed then fell back on his bed.

'What the hell am I doing?' That was his last thought before he drifted to sleep.

The sound of car doors woke Kevin up. It was around 7 pm. Kevin jumped out of bed and walked over to his window to peek through the blinds. He saw 4 cars parked in his driveway, and he saw Nazz and Rolf walking up to his house from the street. 'The hell..?' Then it hit him. His father said he was getting an intervention. "SHIT!" Kevin ran about his room searching for clothes. he stuck with a red shirt and sweat pants. He ran downstairs and was greeted by family and friends sitting in a circle.

"Kevin.. Please sit." Kevin's Aunt Janet spoke. His Aunt and Uncle were there, along with his father, grandmother, and Nazz and Rolf. Kevin reluctantly sat in between his friends and Nazz immediately grabbed his hands, lacing her fingers with his.

"Kevin," His aunt began. "Your father has made it clear to us that you have been a little upset recently." Kevin smirked. 'Ain't even half of it…'

"We're all here to help you get over this bridge. We all care about you and we only want whats best for you and-" His aunt was cut off by Kevin laughing.

"Care?! HAH! You only care for my dad's money he owes you. You," He pointed toward his uncle. "Only care for yourself. Grandma, sorry but you care about the pills you pop. Dad, hah. Need I say more? Or should we ask the bottles you drown yourself in every night since mom left your sorry ass?" Nazz stood up and slapped Kevin across his face.

"How dare YOU! We're all here to help YOU Kevin! You've dug yourself a deep hole, Kevin Anderson Barr!" Kevin rolled his eyes at Nazz using his full name.

"You all have no fucking clue what I've been dealing with and what I'm still going through!" Kevin stood up, yelling at everyone and making eye contact.

"Then fucking tell us!" Nazz screamed. "Excuse my language Mr. Barr." His dad shrugged Nazz off and she continued.

"You don't understand Nazz. Or any of you!" They were all silent and eager to see what Kevin would say. "I.. I loved him..still love him Nazz…

Nazz sighed and rubbed Kevin's shoulder a little. "We figured we couldn't get through to you, so we asked someone who would." Nazz looked over behind Kevin, and Nat was standing there with his hands behind his back.

"Nat.." Nat looked like a wreck. He looked just as sickly as Kevin did, almost worse in some ways. He looked thinner and paler. 'I guess we look better in our dreams…' he thought to himself.

"Yeah, hey." Nat moved closer to the stairs. "Why don't you and I talk away from everyone." Kevin nodded and followed Nat up to his room. The moment Nat closed the door behind Kevin, he immediately pushed him to the ground and punched him.

"NAT!? WHAT THE HELL!" Kevin put his hands over his face in order to shield himself.

"That's for kicking my ass in that god damn dream!" Kevin's eyes grew wide.

"That was seriously you? I thought i just dreamed that you came…" Kevin sat up and wiped the small trail of blood dripping from his mouth.

"No, it was really me. And you know you damn well deserved that punch." Kevin sighed and Nat sat on his bed while Kevin remained on the floor. "Listen Kev, you know this is absolutely ridiculous. And for starters, I didn't want to come here. Nazz forced me out of my house, literally. I wouldn't have came if it wasn't for her."

"Why did you even come? You could've easily said no and kicked Nazz out."

"Yeah, I could've. But I didn't. Wanna know why?" Nat paused for a little. "Because you're still my bro. And somewhere deep inside there, is my real best friend. Not this mess in front of me." Nat stood up and started pacing around. "You know I'm not good at speeches, Kev. So bear with me."

Kevin nodded and sat up on his bed, resting his head against the wall.

"You need to stop dreaming of Edd. It's only making you worse. Honestly Kev? You look sick, mentally and physically. You've dropped a shit ton of weight, and you're like..losing tone." Nat shook his head and kept on talking. "I was trying to help when I came into your dream, but it seems I only made it worse."

"Got that right.." Kevin mumbled. Nat shot him a glare and Kevin looked at his hands. Nat kept his eyes locked on Kevin for awhile before he finally snapped.

"You have to let him go!" Nat finally yelled out, making Kevin jumped. "He's fucking dead Kev! He's not coming back! Not now, not ever! And-" Something caught Nat's eye on the other side of Kevin's bed. He bent down to pick it up and sighed. "Kevin! His fucking beanie!? Jesus Christ." Nat frantically rummaged through Kevin's stuff and then walked off to the bathroom.

"What're you doing?" Kevin called out, suddenly very nervous. Nat came back in the bedroom holding something in his hand, along with the hat.

"You gotta cut off any ties you'd have with Edd. And this shit?" He held up the hat, along with a pair of scissors. Kevin's eyes widened in fear. "You gotta get rid of this."

"Don't you fucking do it Nat!" Kevin stood up, ready to pounce. Nat didn't give it a second thought as he plunged the scissors into the hat, ripping a giant hole in it. Kevin tackled Nat to the ground, causing Nat to drop the scissors and hat. They started throwing punches at each other.

"You piece of shit!" Kevin screamed at the top of lungs.

"Let him go! HE'S FUCKING DEAD KEVIN!" Nat screamed back, letting Kevin pummel him. The moment they heard yelling, Kevin's dad came running upstairs. He pulled the two apart, throwing Kevin back on the floor and helping Nat up. Before Kevin's dad drug Nat out of the house, Nat stared right into Kevin's eyes. "Who the fuck are you anymore?" With that, his former best friend left his house for good, along with everyone else.

The moment it was just Kevin and his father, his dad let Kevin have it.

"Kevin, I swear to god. Clean yourself up and stop wallowing in your pathetic misery, or get the hell out of my god damn house." WIthout saying a word, Kevin sat back down on his bed as his dad slammed the door. Kevin watched his dad leave the house and go out somewhere in the car. Immediately after his father left, Kevin broke down in tears.

'What the hell is wrong with me?!' He screamed internally. Kevin's rage immediately took over as he threw things around his room, not caring if he broke anything. He began screaming and started breaking trophies he's won, he ripped posters off his wall, and he even knocked over his dresser. At this point, he was fucking done with everything and everyone.

Kevin walked downstairs and grabbed a bottle of his father's bourbon. He searched through the medicine cabinet and found what he believed to be pain medication. He didn't care what it was, he just needed it. Before he went upstairs, he grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper he found lying around and wrote a note.

_I can't deal with this anymore. My dreams are better than_

_reality. I need to have him, I need to feel him. _

_I need to love him. Please understand._

_I'm so sorry._

Kevin stared at the note with tears stinging his eyes, but he quickly wiped them away. With the note in his hand, he ran back up to his room and sat on the edge of his bed with the bourbon in one hand, and the pills in the other. He took a deep breath and opened both bottles. This wasn't a time for him to be neat, so he swallowed a handful of the pills and washed them down with the bourbon. He could feel himself slowly shaking, but it began to work up. He was shaking so badly that he fell to the floor, clutching the note in his hand. He glanced up through blurry eyes to see the torn hat a few feet from him. With all of his strength he could muster, Kevin reached for the hat. Before he could reach it, his eyes began to close and he felt his body shut down. The hat was just out of his reach.. He saw darkness, then suddenly a bright light.


End file.
